10 Second Toast

Admittedly this is the greatest and most well-written blog you have ever laid eyes upon; despite this fact today's entry will be kept shorter than the members of the lollipop guild, for our champion of the English language is still feeling kind of sick. Sick still after several days, he cannot help but sing the praises of sudafed and must find out if they sell it here in the Orient or if our fearless author will succumb to the use of elk horn shavings mixed with ginger and other meticulously weighed and chosen ingredients to heal his sinuses. We now continue our epic along this yellow brick road, better known as South Korea...

Today, Sunday, I did absolutely nothing except sleep in, nap, and eat and drink things that are good for me. So we should look at the rest of the week for something slightly more entertaining.

Other than going to the gym once and trying a bowl of absolutely terrible Vietnamese pho soup this week flew by. Taking Korean classes means that I have even less time to myself but slowly I am starting to understand Hanguk-mal, literally translated: Korean talking. I really enjoy the classes and it should become pretty helpful when taking taxis, ordering food or when I get invited to go hang out with Kim Jong Il and he gives me his favorite pair of sun glasses and it's totally cool and we have mojitos. Enough about my fantasies of sugary rum-drinks with narcissistic dictators-- I have much more interesting things to talk about.

Friday night I went out for a little with some coworkers, exacerbating my symptoms slightly, and during the taxi ride over and in the midst of our trying to communicate which bar we were headed to the taxi driver randomly asked if we spoke Spanish. I was more eager than one of my students, I was like: I do! I do! You've got to be kidding a Korean taxi driver who speak Spanish?! Better question, why not English? It turns out he has been listening to Korean--Spanish language lessons on tape while he drives around all day and spoke Spanish fairly well. Using Español I was able to get us to the right place much more efficiently than if we had used very broken Korean and hand gestures.

Saturday was the wedding of one of the receptionists of the school and it was held at a Catholic church and was not dissimilar to a Catholic wedding anywhere else in the world. We arrived a little late but snuck in and sat next to our other coworkers and sat through an hour mass that culminated in the part where they say they do and they kiss and all that stuff. I take it you understand the concept of wedding and I don't need to go into too many details. 100% in Korean so we only knew what was going on due to the rythm of the chants or through certain motions carried out by the priest. Colm and Rosie were both raised Catholic and took communion while I just watched from the ubiquitous hard, wooden pews.

Shuffling outside we were part of some photo ops before going down to a banquet hall to have some delicious foods. I'm sorry that I didn't take more pictures but I think I would have gotten a LOT of weird looks for taking pictures of their food. Options included prawns, sashimi, jellyfish noodles in a mustard sauce, chestnut noodles, small baby octopi that may have been boiled but they tasted pretty fresh as well as the less exotic like spaghetti, salads and egg salad sandwiches.

After we had sat down with our food we were treated to the first toast and strangely the only toast of the wedding which lasted for all of 10 seconds. It was not your standard toast after toast after toast and you're not sure if you can be eating or what. Great! More time to socialize and eat with my coworkers. Wrong. The whole lunch hour lasted maybe 45 minutes and most people sat, ate, and got the hell out of dodge. No dancing, no drinking bottles and bottles of champagne, no awkward speeches, a lot of things which I guess I kind of liked about the American style weddings I'm used to. It just seemed so anti-climactic. After, we had coffee then hopped back on the subway back home.

I'm not sure if this was all that short but compared to some other posts I think it was.

Anyang hi ka seo!
Photos on the right------------>

2 Dudes Nude

With such a tantalizing title the author assumes assuredly that you will not be but drawn to read on to get to the unclad lads that is all but promised in such a provocative title. The writer of this rather humble internet entry device writes this as the sun sets silently almost unnoticed in such a teeming metropolis like Seoul; while on the other side of our small planet many of those kind enough to decipher the rants of a foreigner in need of attention, rise to a lazy Sunday morning which will apparently be spent, in part, reading this "web-log." So the man behind the keyboard will try and not start you off with something boring and hopes that you are not only here due to lewd references already alluded in the title.

Friday night finally came! Happiness is a word reserved for emotions far less powerful than what I might have been feeling when the weekend arrived one week too late. I have 10 classes on Fridays which only serves to motivate my feelings of flight. This week was however very interesting since I had two Korean language classes which I wasn't expecting to even have since nobody got back to us after we had expressed interest in taking them. The classes were very good and I am looking forward to learning some of this mysterious tongue which shares none of the qualities of the few languages I have tried my hand at. I hope soon to be able to order food and maybe even be able to count above the number two. Let's be honest, this is a tough language although the alphabet is pretty sweet and very easy to learn. The classes were also turnabout since I spend all days pounding English into children's heads and now I have willingly signed up for the same treatment with slightly more embarrassment since I am taking the classes with two of my better friends from the school, Gabi and Rosie.

Friday night I saw the movie Gamer at a very nice theater near the school and had an easy evening which was just fine for me since I was looking forward to a less exciting weekend with no crazy fish ladies or jaundice-men vying for my attention or money. Gamer was okay for the first half but the second just gets weird and lost me.

Saturday I hung out with a Korean guy, Minha, who works at the school as an aid of some sort and we went to an area called Insadong that is pretty touristy but we had some great food, lots of squid, pork, and kimchi, and some delicious traditional Korean style tea.

Though tea and squid is not why you have forged this river that is my babbling blog. The nudity! Yes, Danny, get to the part where there are naked  people! Talk about the naked people! Fear not young padawan for I will do so. This weekend I invited David and Abby to go to a jimilbang, which is essentially a Korean bath house. My friend Rosie is a big fan of the jimjilbangs so she came along as well. So after a hearty dinner and several bottles of liquid courage we headed to Yongsan to have yet another new experience.

We walk in and first lock up our shoes and are given some pajama shorts and shirt and several towels along with a wrist band that will charge us for anything we buy inside of the bath house. We part ways, David and I going to the mens' floor and the girls heading to the ladies'. Upon exiting the elevator we see at least half a dozen Korean men naked, just hanging out, watching TV or talking, stretching-- basically whatever they feel like doing. This is the part for which we have imbibed a few beers but also very curious about since the "bath" portion of the bath house is done completely nude. We go to lock up our things and both try and muster enough energy to not giggle too much or make things weird for when we both know that we are getting nakeder than we ever expected to be in the same room. We put on the pajamas and look around the area, discover the baths, and aren't really sure what we're supposed to do or when we have to disrobe.

We follow a friendly Russian guy down to a different floor that is coed and everyone is wearing the pajamas, we follow the Siberian into a sauna which made me feel like a pizza since it was essentially just a large oven. After the oven we head back upstairs and figure out that we were supposed to lock up the pj's as well and decided just do it. So we got to the business at hand and wandered over to the baths naked, naked, naked. I mean, David is a good friend, I just didn't think we'd ever be this unclothed together along with 2 dozen Korean men who seemed to be really comfortable with the whole situation and only startled by our presence because we were foreign.

I didn't feel as awkward as I thought I would but that's not to say I didn't feel completely strange at first. In that baths there were several pools of different temperatures: hot, cold, very hot. There was a wet sauna which made me sweat like nothing ever has and several other rooms for body scrubbing and massage which seemed pricy so we just stuck with being naked in hot tubs with lots of other dudes. Also I don't know if I'm comfortable getting scrubbed down by some nice jimjilbang employee just yet-- no, not just yet.

After seeing more Korean men in their birthday suits and not their business suits than I had ever wanted to see we changed and headed downstairs to find the womenfolk. We tried out the saunas again and even an ice room which felt very pleasant and sat in some massage chairs which were pretty fantastic for $1.80 for 10 minutes. We found the women poked around a little more and then went out for some drinks to debrief our brief experience of brieflessness.

In short-- when in Rome do as the Romans and when in Korea do as the Koreans. You'll like it.

Today I went shopping bought some things and also got a cool haircut. That's right, Danny changed his hairstyle which has largely been the same since late high school. It looks similar but the "designer" took some artistic license with it and I'm actually really pleased with the result-- especially for a haircut/shampoo/scalp massage that cost $13 and no tip!

I end this admittedly over-hyped entry with some idioms I read recently. The first which is for my friends, "Even if you have to crawl on your knees, get yourself to Seoul!" The second being for my parents is, "Send your ox to market but send your son to Seoul."

Anyang and good night. Comments are encouraged... :P

5 Days of Chuseok: Part II

The author would like to state that he has just come back from his first Korean lesson and was not aware that he would be having the lesson today since his employer, from whom the classes are offered, did not bother to inform him or his two friends that the classes began today. He is thoroughly confused but thinks that he is getting a handle of the 3 dozen kinds of “U” sounds but is feeling uneasy about the consonants whose sound seem to change with the wind.

But you the eager and well informed reader of this classy, little “web log” has not come here to necessarily hear about the author’s unplanned joust with the Korean language. No, not at all; you are here to complete the saga, the epic, the odyssey that was the Chuseok vacations here in the “land of the morning calm.” Fear not for we find ourselves in a new city, the city of Busan where anything can and does happen…

So Day one went down like any day in a new city; Rosie and myself asking each other where we think we should head and since neither one of us had ever been to this particular metropolis that didn’t seem to get us very far. We found the subway and were pleased to find that it worked very similarly to the system that we have in Seoul but not before I went up to a Subway attendant and asked a question in slow, English teacher English thinking he wouldn’t understand me and only to have him respond in fluent West Coast English. We then explored some, found a map to guide us, got lost and eventually decided to head to the beach since it was a muggy 70 degrees outside.

We took a taxi since the subway in Busan runs nowhere near the beaches and were pleasantly surprised to find that the rates were much less than in Seoul. We arrived at Gwang-alli Beach which makes a huge case for Busan being better than Seoul. See the link on the right for photos. We eventually started to hunger and made our way to a cheap looking noodle house with a very friendly elderly couple beaming at us as we entered their restaurant. Since we have little understanding of the Korean language, both of us, we rely on pictures and bad translations to order food. So we ordered #4 since they were all noodle varieties and everyone seemed to have soup and that seemed fine to us. We did not get soup. We received cold noodles. I’d like to state a fact: warm noodles > cold noodles. Okay, enough about the noodles.

After slurping up a reasonable about of spicy but very cold noodles we headed back to the beach area and took some amazing pictures of the bridge (and by amazing I mean I am still figuring out how my camera works so please forgive me) and the surrounding areas which give Busan a lot of charm—including its colorful “Millak Raw Fish Town”.

Come evening we headed to a bar on the beach and had some beers, played some darts, and eventually found a taxi back to our hostel to start again Friday.

Friday morning we explored the area around the hostel and eventually found ourselves starving but I love food so that was okay. We found a Korean pizza place (some of the tastiest pizza in the world is here) and split and overpriced half-shrimp and half-potato pizza. We ate the pizza with forks and knives (Koreans are the biggest fans of eating with one’s hands) as our neighbors are theirs out of little paper cups which seems to be the style especially for take-out pizza.

After the potato pizza (trust me, you want some) we got lost again but in 70 degree weather you can’t complain. I decided I needed to take out some more cash only to find myself in a similar position as I was in at the beginning of my time here in South Korea: hardly any ATMs accept foreign debit cards! I began to stress out as Rosie was also running low and had been covering things for me for the first half of the trip with the assumption that I would be reimbursing her. We tried what seemed like hundreds of different ATMs—even the bank that works for me in Seoul but only to be rejected by every single one. We made our way to the train station hoping that something there would work but even there none of the ATMs would give. We then asked some random foreign-looking girl if she knew of any international ATMs and she suggested down in the subway. I was about to give up all hope when alas! It worked! The nice lady candy vendor next to the ATM also celebrated my being able to take out cash and so we bought $2 worth of her candies. It was the worst tasting candy that either one of us has ever had but even that couldn’t ruin our elated state.

We decided we needed some coffee or tea to wash out the bad tasted from the candy and to regroup our thoughts as well as to wake up a little. While drinking some “southern sweet tea” we found on our map a large Buddhist temple that was nearby and promptly took a taxi right to the entrance. We took a ton of photos but I’m not sure that I did it justice given out big and grand it was and how terrible my photos make it look. Inside I was able to take photos of some people chanting and from what we had read we think that this was prayer to the Buddhist goddess of mercy. It was pretty cool and we were delighted that we were able to take photos inside of the temple.

Again we found ourselves with that condition known as hunger and decided to head back to Gwang-alli so that I cook take part in Korean style sushi. We wandered around for a while and were recommended an area, by some young police officers (all police officers in Korea are young), which turned out to be the “Millak Raw Fish Town.” The first place we went to had a small platter starting at 80,000 won which is in the range of US$70 so we decided to politely back away slowly and look for another place. That totally would have worked except this particular fish lady seemed to have some sort of bet with the devil that she could get us into her restaurant or she’d lose her soul because she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She became a little louder and we tried to leave but found ourselves unable. Eventually I began mumbling at her in some Spanish and a fair bit of gibberish which confused both her and Rosie; so she turned to Rosie assuming that she understood what the crazy fish lady was saying. Rosie did not and soon the woman was grabbing Rosie by the arms hoping that she would understand, “eat my over-priced, uncooked fish” through the scientific principle of osmosis.

Somehow we MacGyver’d an escape which involved a paper clip, a hair pin, our collective shoe laces and some terrible tasting Korean gum. To be honest, I’m not sure how we made it out of there alive. We checked another restaurant—with a much less high pressure staff, only finding the price 20,000 won cheaper so I used the power of my imagination to remember what raw fish tastes like and decided that chicken was the meal for me. We found a small chicken restaurant, recouped from the crazy fish lady and had the world’s spiciest chicken along with the world largest pitcher of yellow Korean beer. All for less than the sushi would have been, especially considering that Rosie doesn’t eat fish.

We then headed back to the beach to join in the Chuseok festivities which were slightly underwhelming but ducked into the bar from the previous night to use the rest room. While having a beer at the bar we met a man with the English name of Terry who works at a savings bank in Busan. He was a lot of fun and had very good English. Several beers later he took us to his friend’s restaurant where we tried North Korean style dumplings with the owner of the restaurant. The dumplings were 4 times larger than normal and wrapped in chicken skin instead of dough. They were delicious. The pumpkin tempura is also something that I would recommend.

The next day, Saturday, was Chuseok and also our last day in Busan. In morning we were examinging a map confirming our way to our destination of the UN War Memorial at Busan and thinking about breakfast (since virtually everything is closed on Chuseok) when jaundice man appeared as if a specter off my right cheek. He was a pale color almost yellow-tinted and very thin. I didn’t notice him, given my love affair with maps, until he asked in near-perfect English where we were headed. I then noticed him hovering just off the right side of my face and took a step back and told him assuming he knew something we didn’t, like that it was closed on Chuseok. He then volunteered to take us there, which was only a little bit creepy, when Rosie saved the day saying that we needed to get breakfast first and we had to meet someone and probably a few other lies. The then turned around and descended into the subway like some sort of HG Wells inspired morlock.

 The UN War Memorial was very moving and we learned a lot—a lot more than I had ever learned in high school or college about the war. Things like the nation of Turkey fought in the war and suffered some of the highest casualties outside of the US and the UK. It was a very beautiful cemetery and guarded by one UN soldier—my first time seeing a UN soldier in person which was refreshing to see. I can’t go on too much about the site but please see the photos on the right for only some of what I was able to see.

Upon becoming tired from mild sun burns we headed back to the train station to nap and wait for our train since all of Korea seemed to be inside their homes celebrating. We kept hoping that some nice family would invite us in for some songpyon or other holiday refreshments but was a dream never realized.

After a brief nap in the train station we found “China Street” which happened to be located inside of a good sized Russian neighborhood and eventually went and had some more coffee across the street from the train station.

It turns out that our tickets for the 3 hour ride were in “seats” for 1 hour and for 2 hours we would be hobos of sorts in between cars in the standing room only section. This turned out to be more fun anyway as we ordered beers every time the attendant passed by and danced outside of the restroom, Korean staring at us all the while—which they would have been anyway since we aren’t Korean. At one point we gave up our “seat” which was a luggage shelf to a family, who was banished to the standing room only with us, to be rewarded with dried squid jerky by their young daughter which reeked of squid and ocean a little much ever for me.

The rest of the weekend in Seoul was fun too but this entry is already longer than the Bible so I will force myself to stop.

Anyang!

Comments please!

5 Days of Chuseok: Part I

The author is tired, so very tired. He wishes to convey the holiday weekend as it happened and without forgetting anything super important or interesting but he fears that he may but he will endeavor to transcribe some of the stories and adventures of the Chuseok holiday and an entertaining and excellent experience to beautiful Busan and back.

This weekend was Chuseok which is more or less Korean Thanksgiving. It is still about family and the harvest and many of the things that we do in the US for Thanksgiving but with some differences. Many people, mostly children, dress up in traditional Hanbok clothing, they eat traditional foods, and they visit grave sites of their ancestors. That being said I will attempt to tell you how I spent this Chuseok and the five glorious days I had off work to do so.

By the time this weekend took its sweet time getting here, I had several travel plans with several people all of which fell through.  I wanted to get out of Seoul and see something out of the city so badly. Only one other person had this same desire and that was my coworker, Rosie. We both wanted to go to Busan, the second largest city in South Korea and a great tourist destination with lots of beaches, see why we wanted to go? To drop a colloquial phrase, “everyone and their mom” told us that travelling this weekend would be impossible and that we shouldn’t even attempt leaving the Seoul metro area since all the trains, planes and automobiles would be booked and the only salt water we would see would be from our tears as we learned firsthand at the train station the black hole that is travelling on Chuseok. What did we learn? Never say die.

We made our way to Seoul Station immediately after work on Wednesday and walked right up to the ticket counter after waiting in a small line and found two tickets to Busan via the KTX bullet train for less than $50 a piece. All, meaning every single one of our coworkers (Korean and American), said that this small feat would be impossible. Hear that kids? You never get anywhere without trying.

So we stocked up on provisions, which included some seaweed-rice snacks and several beers and some Soju—that vile, relentless liquor that is so cheap and so well-loved here in Korea and boarded our train; Busan bound. On the train, several beers in, we wandered over to a table with only one Korean guy about our age and asked him if he liked Soju and if we could sit down. As it turned out, he did indeed like Soju and we took our seats and soon his friend came and joined us as we all became quick friends sharing the drinks and grabbing some beef jerky and mixed nuts from the passing train attendant.  They explained to us that they were two engineers living Incheon, which is next to Seoul, and were headed to Busan for the holiday to visit their families. Their English was phenomenal and we were asked to quiet down on no less than 3 occasions—not a bad train ride.

Finally, in only 3 hours, we had traveled across the entire length of the country and had arrived in Busan, barely finding room at a hostel and waking up Thursday morning to begin our adventures anew on the southern most part of the Korean peninsula.

I hate doing blogs in installments but I am still pretty tired from this weekend and would love to write more tomorrow.

Anyang!