1 Country Down 2 to Go

The egotistical, egomaniacal author of awesomeness has certainly taken his damn time getting around to the readable writing of this entry and maybe his last while on the peninsula of Korea. He has had a hell of a time here and you his avid reader (or maybe you just google searched something dirty and got this blog) have had the obvious pleasure of living vicariously through him.

 Secrets, untold stories, and many opinions have probably been kept from you and will only be unkept if you buy the thirsty author a liquid libation or two upon his triumphant return. Or does he really have any? Maybe he just wants a free beer or two (a beer that isn’t the color yellow).

Yes, I am returning to the picturesque Puget Sound, even though this place has been mighty kind to me, and who knows, I may come back—and not just for the kimchi. The terrific teacher also learned things. Simple things, such as rice is awesome, or beer shouldn’t be yellow and I am capable of eating a creature that’s still alive (which I did again the other day).  Other things like a baseball game can be called even before the first pitch has been thrown or just about any animal or vegetable is actually quite consumable. 

One thing that I never got into was many of the more trying experiences of being an immigrant (however temporary) to this country and now I’d like to think that I understand the experiences of my friends back home just a little more. It’s not an easy thing living in a country that isn’t your own and which you have so little in common at first. I’ve seen firsthand here that it’s not for everyone.

Anywhom, I am leaving Monday for Bangkok via a layover in Kuala Lumpur where I will meet up with the legendary Diana Sundermeyer of the WWU Rec Center Pool. Me and Sundermunder will spend a few hours in the Bangkok airport wearing shirts that are not the color red because one, we’re no longer lifeguards and two, well, there’s that minor “Red Shirt” thing in Thailand. Then to Chiang Mai in the north, then Phuket in the southeast and that’s where I part ways with Sunderwunder who flies back to the US to return to her normal life of huffing chlorine fumes. Then I have another week by myself in Thailand to basically stay out of trouble and apply and REapply sunscreen to my (after Jeju) humbled skin.  I plan on eating grotesque amounts of phad thai, phad see ew, and host of different curries. It’s gonna be yummy.

Once I find my way back to Bangkok I fly to Manila only to then jump to the city of Cebu on the island of the same name. There I will drink San Miguels for $1 a piece and try my hand at couch surfing for the first time-- just trying to trust the world a little more. After a week there I will head to the island of story: Boracay.  Once there, there will be more $1 San Miguels complimented by chicken adobo, lumpia, and mangoes. Oh the mangoes! This man goes for mangoes! Haha.

Then I will rescue some razor blade wielding roosters from their gladiatorial lives and be on my way out of the shark infested waters of the Philippine archipelago. From Manila I will cross the gynormous Pacific and arrive in Maui to visit a high school friend, one Mr. Ken Sandin. Yes, that’s the only reason. Really, it’s a good enough reason, right? Okay, so I’m looking forward to Hawaii too.

After a week there I will find myself back amongst the tall trees and well-watered mountains of my home town. Let’s just hope all of this works out the way I say it’s going to.

Keep reading, I’ll try and update from the road.

대니 (Danny)

P.S. I'm going to miss my students so much. Aren't they adorable?

2 Sun Byrnes

Hey look! It’s the self-styled Marco Polo’s own mother.  She hopped on a jet plane and made her way to the magical Orient to see what was what and all she got was several mouthfuls of kimchi. Yes, the author’s momma thought it would be worth it to fly for a full day and visit her eldest son here in the war-paused peninsula of Korea. You of course, haven’t done this. So this makes her better than you in all quantitative and qualitative ways possible. She found not only fermented vegetables but sun burns, subways, and stone statues to boot.

So as of today, my mom is safely back in the US and at home. First, thank you mommy for bringing back my winter clothes and things I didn’t need. I’ll pay for that extra-bag fee. Anyway, I hope you had a good trip, especially for your first outside of North America.

I got to flex my skills as tour guide again (first time with my friend Carla who was in town). It’s fun showing someone around Seoul after you’ve been here as long as I have—even if you just make up information a most of the time. I also got to use a bit of my Korean on during her time here and I think I may have almost sounded fluent (to the untrained ear of course)!

So other than taking my mom to the usual haunts and tourist traps around Seoul I also flew her to the mythical island of Jeju-do which Koreans usually only speak of in hushed tones hoping that they can go there soon. It’s Korea’s Hawaii as they tell it and while I haven’t been to actual Hawaii, yet, I don’t think they are too far from the mark. And boy do they have everything there: beaches, oranges, and a sizeable number of statues that are little people but pretty much just look like penises. And furthermore, if you touch the nose of one of these penis-people statues you’re supposed to be in line for a boy child. Sure beats the Chilean troll of unwed mothers: Trauco. He’s pretty neat actually. Ironically, he’s also from an island. What’s up with islanders and weird myths?

On Jeju we took a taxi tour of the island and stopped at two craters, a pretty coastal area, a coastal waterfall, and a strange lived in Korean folk village. At the aforementioned stone hut community we had some not so tasty snacks from some nice old ladies and then their pigs got me all muddy because my mom didn’t like her snack and fed it to the black pigs. Fun fact: black pigs are supposed to be more delicious. Sad fact: black pigs are more expensive to eat.

Anyway, as the title states I did get myself a nice sun burn since I never get to go outside anymore; I just stay indoors, breathing processed air and then breathing it out only to yell and 6 year olds. It’s mostly okay now but let’s say there was a moment where I almost tore the skin off my back.

However it was totally worth it to play in the waves and lay about on a beach. Hotel was a 2 minute walk from the beach with ocean views—livin’ the life of Riley. Hooray for my one vacation of the year! Back to work this week, boo.

Starcraft II. Like a good denizen of this half of the peninsula, I’m playing it. It’s gorgeous, great and glorious. Yeah, I’m sometimes a computer game nerd.

Anyway, that’s all the new fit to print. Eat your kimchi.

1 Language to Rule Them All!

The author walks like Gulliver among the giants. The buildings here seem to notice the writer just the same. How’s that for poetic? This lackadaisical, lethargic lycanthrope—wait, doesn’t that last one mean the writer is a werewolf?

I wanna talk about the English language aka the current lingua franca of the WORLD. What an incredible tool that can make or break everything. When I was taking Korean classes we weren’t supposed to be speaking in English (or any other language for that matter) but English eventually rose to the top and was used by instructors and students of all nationalities to discuss vocabulary and points of grammar despite some detractors. At one point we had a Chinese guy, a Russian guy, a Japanese guy, and English guy, a Colombian guy, a German girl, a Canadian guy, and me (the Amurkican). English was used! (Though one time the CoIombian, the German and I used Spanish to communicate so that our teacher didn’t know what we were talking about because she didn’t enjoy us using English to discuss Korean grammar.

The other night was the aforementioned Colombian’s farewell party. So I met the German girl and the English guy at a club to see him off. I found out that a Colombian friend of his was in the room and was looking as bored as I was, so I went up to talk to him and see if I remember any Spanish. Well, I did and it turns out that he didn’t speak any English. He really wanted to go dance with the girls but was afraid that without English he wouldn’t be able to really do much. Point in case; to dance with the ladies: you should know English. Also I want to ask if it’s legal to throw down a semi-colon and a colon in the same sentence like that. I’m looking at you, English majors.

On the other hand, one night while on the bus from Korean class, my friend Sean and I were mumbled/yelled/shushed at by an elderly Korean man for speaking in English. The irony is that we were discussing Korean grammar.

Also English is on everything over here. It’s on street signs, menus, and products. If you don’t have a basic grasp of how our alphabet works and you then probably have no idea how to read Hangeul then you’re SOL. I like to tell my students that with English they can use it anywhere. I may not be 100% right but it helps give meaning to what I do and to those English teachers here who just want to have a gap year where they don’t have to worry about much. (Also you can't read awesome blogs like mine if  you ain't got the skills.)

Speaking of English being used everywhere, this Friday I went to Ocean World with the kinder kids and got to play in all the shallow water they had! There were some awesome looking waterslides but since we were the kids… nothing. Weird stuff included the need to wear any kind of hat while in the water, life jackets for just about anything, and when we were done Andrew and I were asked to scrub down all of the boys’ arms, legs and scalps with soap and then dry them off. I have now scrubbed down most of the kinder program at my school.

Also, the world cup happened and you all know about that. But I went to city hall a couple times and it was nuts. I have some weird insights into East Asian group-thought but that will have to be for another time.

All in all, I’m here for about 2 more months. And I’m going to probably try to eat and do a few more stupid things before I’m done. Please comment too! Especially if you’re a friend from back home and you made it this far!

안녕!

2-0 South Korea! but 1-0 North Korea...

Nestled between the dumpling-eating giant that is China, the smaller robot-filled island-nation of Japan and below the absurd “North” our humble hero has not for at least a month told you, his army of beautiful readers, what he’s a been doin’. Many notable and noteworthy news items have passed this small peninsula like the rainclouds over Seattle lately. Some of which were probably already noticed by nearly all of his more “up on it” fans.

The biggest would have to be the leading news item of the WORLD other that big black eye that BP gave the Gulf of Mexico. That would be the sinking of a South Korean battleship by (we’ll say presumably) North Korea. Now not to belittle the situation at all but when confronted by South Korea and the majority of the nations of the Earth, North Korea was all like: ‘What? We totally don’t even know about that battleship we destroyed that you’re talking about. You should go ask the US. They probably did it. Yes, you should ask them. We were here just minding our own business and stuff.’ The author thinks this was possibly the most immature reaction to an act of war one could ever come up with—even off the top of their head. Flying false colors went out with the swashbuckling kind of pirates because, well, we have science now and it points fingers squarely at North Korea. I know they don’t have electricity but have they forgotten about science? Galileo and those dudes didn’t even have electricity.

Now it’s time to sing the body electric. You know the part more about me and not just the Kim “Kanye West-sunglasses” Jong Il and his hermit, semi-communist, dark-at-night democratic people’s republic.  Though, they did make it to the World Cup, good for them—seriously.

So for Mr. Buddha’s birthday, which was in May for all the folks not living within semi-Buddhist borders, I plotted a trip down to the island of Anmyeondo for myself and several colleagues. 2 Koreans, 2 Canadians, 2 Americans, 1 Irishman, 1 Australian on a bus that doesn’t have a bathroom and don’t stop, not even for pedestrians that at times seemingly jump in into harm’s way as if they were Superman.

What we saw: One day of great sun and picturesque walks on the beach with new kinds of starfish (sea stars?), millions of hermit crabs (second time I’ve dropped ‘hermit’ in this blog so far), and white sand covering several miles of beach. Then the rain…

…it kept raining all weekend on and off but we still managed to have some fun. The rain wouldn’t have been all bad if there had been more taxis and fewer tourists. We visited a national park which had some amazing pine trees unique to Korea which have an umbrella shape at the top. The down side was that most of it was devoted to cabins for staying the night or well manicured flower gardens and ponds. I managed to lose the group and get lost in the woods for a while which was heaven. Nearly… nearly like hiking but not quite.

Basically the weekend would have pleased Mr. Buddha, equal amounts yin (good) and others yang (bad). 

Moderation is the key to life I suppose. Overall, it was a good trip and well worth getting out of this concrete jungle.  Just too bad that after a solid week of hot, muggy sun this past weekend was quite rainy. I think the US should officially celebrate more religious holidays. Koreans get both Christmas AND Buddha’s birthday off… we need more Buddhists. On the way back the kid on the bus next to me slept on my shoulder (normal here) and I saw more rice patties than Iowa has corn fields.

Umm, there was an election and stuff. Nothing much changed politically though. Seoul’s mayor is the same. The candidates have cheerleaders. Check the videos/photos. They consist of old women who apparently have nothing better to do than learn chants and choreography that usually just add up to repeating the candidates name over and over. They also send little flat bed trucks with sound systems all over, even on back country roads on little islands like Anmyeondo. These trucks again, just blast the candidates name over and over. Sometimes, if you’re lucky one of the trucks will have the candidate making speeches from the back—sometimes while moving! Either way, it was definitely a new way of doing elections for me.

And then the World Cup! My friend David is in South Africa presently and I’m sure is having a great time. He is seeing the South Korea-Argentina game and I am very jealous. I went to World Cup Stadium here to watch the game with no fewer than half the stadium worth of other fans all decked out in Korean red. Others went to the malls or city hall to see the game. I can’t even imagine Americans going together somewhere to watch sports on a screen together—never mind in the rain. Anyway, Greece got their hummus handed to them by Park Ji Sung and the Korean squad. The US got a tie against England, and I was very tired and dehydrated the following day…

Anyoung!  

Eaten 99 Things But A Dog Ain't One

Me and Ethan

God says to Danny: Eat anything stupid lately?

Danny says to God: You know it.

Despite the despicable dinner options sometimes used as spicy and savory sustenance by the man who’s blog you now read, he would invite you to also believe that he does not always eat the chopped up intestinal tracks of Babe and really has only done so twice. But PETA be damned, he has had his share of crazy animal meats, sometimes whole, sometimes still alive.

Silk Worm

At least here in Korea I often know what is going into my body. From what I can tell there are a lot less processed foods here, at least in the way of Korean food. When I eat a live octopus for example, I can tell you what is in that dish. Can you tell me what was in your salad dressing? Even with more complicated dishes you can plainly see what goes into them and how they are made, often since they are prepared by you or right in front of you.

"Penis Fish"

Off the top of my head since coming to Korea I have consumed sashimi prepared moments after the fish’s demise, live octopus legs, cooked silk worms, pork intestines, pork liver, chicken liver, sea snails, giant clams, more squid than he can imagine, raw squid, raw sea squirts, raw “penis fish,” coagulated blood soup, spicy chicken feet, small whole octopus, sweet potato derived grain alcohol, rice wine, heaps of fermented vegetables, more garlic that is necessary to kill off the entire cast of those stupid vampire movies set in Forks, Washington and probably more crazy stuff that he’ll think of later and add to this delicious list of edibles.

Silk Worms

Apart from the things I choose to point my chopsticks at, I should say that I had a chance to hang out with a friend from Bellingham and trivia night rival, Carla Galland. Carla’s mother is Korean and initially was my biggest source of information about the peninsula other than David’s cryptic messages on Facebook or my amateurish researching on Wikipedia. Anyway, she came with her mom and dad for about 3 weeks and I was able to show her several of my favorite spots in town AKA the touristy and 20 somethings stuff that she doesn’t get to do with her family present. Basically I took her out to a lot of places that I like to eat. Haha!

Carla's Cousin's Apartment

Her family was kind enough to invite me over to their house just outside of Seoul twice for dinner and David was able to come the first night before his eastward trek towards the Dark Continent. We had a feast fit for a king—a Korean king. Too much kimchi for King Arthur, I’m sure. It was my first time getting to go to a Korean household for dinner and it was a lot of fun. Always bring a gift! The second time I ended up using a lot of my Korean skills and loving it. It’s great when I get to speak in Korean to someone I don’t know and am not trying to buy/get anything from.

Especially big thank you to Carla for getting on the military base in Seoul and getting me American style bacon and several cans of refried beans! THANK YOU! I love and miss beans as much as some of you might imagine.

Okay, so that was about a page. I think I’m done. I’ll be sure to get crackin on the next one soon. I hope everybody had a good Cinco de Mayo, we had Children’s Day instead—we didn’t have to work!

Cherry Blossoms

Over and out. 안녕히가세요! 

2 Intense Times!

The food worshipping writer was totally just published on www.SeoulEats.com and has no other reason to post this other than to show off. Word. Also, welcome to visitors from the aforementioned blog. The author would like to thank Mr. Dan Gray for posting the article the writer wrote on delicious pork intestines one can consume in Seoul.

For the article please visit: http://www.seouleats.com/2010/04/gopchang-house-by-danny-byrnes.html

40 Minutes of Hell at a Time

Once this teacher learned that he preferred prowling, probing, and pestering the populous and palatable peopled portions of this previous part of Pangaea the reader’s writer found that he might not need to update as much as you or his blog’s God character might desire—even if he does write awesomely long, awesome sentences. The thing about blogging he’s unearthed is that one must have time to write in order for words to appear on a page and thus allowing you to live out all of your teaching in South Korea dreams vicariously through this modest piece of internet writing.

Well with the New Year we both ended a school year and began another. Too much has really happened in the past month to really remember or do it justice. To summarize I hosted the kinder graduation. Which was fun and I’m sure not even half the parents in attendance were able to really understand most of anything I was even saying. Either way, I looked good in a suit, so you can look at the photos and at least see my prettiness.

With the promotion of some of the less than angelic kinder kids, ridding them from my life for good (as well as losing some of my favorites) came an ominous sound of hooves-- the kind of hooves that only demons make when thundering through the halls of my humble hagwon. I am the main phonics teacher now for two of the new “6” year old kinder classes (meaning some of them might be 4 years old). Thank goodness I still have my best class which is now 7 years old and have one more year at ECC. Some of the kids are way too young and makes me disagree with Korea’s practice of counting everyone’s age together, allowing younger kids to enter into school before they are really ready.

Some of my older kids singing along to Peaches by the Presidents of the USA of Seattle, WA:

From Korea III

 (You may have to scroll down to the bottom of the album??)

Other than the hellions which have been unleashed upon me for 40 minutes at a time I have dropped out of Korean classes but have been continuing to study (but not as much as I should) and my life has gotten a lot easier—though I still can’t find a lot of time to blog, can I?

I’m in love with Korean baseball games now. Its loud all the time, the beers are about $2, and there are cheerleaders. It’s a lot more entertaining game than its American cousin.  I’ll be going to a lot more games. Tickets are no more expensive than $30 for the best seats in the house too. Photos and videos are up.

Anywhom, check out the photos, lots of good ones. Some videos too. You know you love it. Get on it.

My 2nd New Year of the Year

This humble denizen of the Far East was walking about the high-heeled metropolis the other day when he ran into God. He asked God a question: What am I doing here in Seoul? God replied, I don’t know, you haven’t updated your stale, crusty old blog in a month so I wouldn’t know, would I? Thinking that his version of God was correct, though kind of fresh, he decided that it was high time to write more seeing as how Jehovah was keeping tabs on how often he was updating.

The awesome, octopus wrangling writer has been giving his blog a chance to recuperate while he has gone out into the land of the “morning calm” and planted, picked, and gleaned new stories for you, his discriminating audience, to sink their teeth into.  He does understand the insulin like need for you to read more of his deft descriptions of spicy, fibrous kimchi and trips to naked-time jimjilbangs (since most of my hits are for this reason).  There are so many things which he could casually enlighten you—such as no drinks at meal times, usually just a soup (unless you ordered the soup), or how sometimes he feels so welcomed to this wonderful (yet awkwardly racist) peninsula when old men tell him and his friend Sean (on their way back from Korean class) to be quiet on the bus when talking about Korean grammar in their best “inside voices.” So in short, sit back, pour yourself a beverage and prepare to be assaulted by stories so controversial and awesome that 3 of them have already been disqualified by the Olympics (written at the time of the Olympics).

Speaking of the Olympics, Kim Yu-na (Yu-na Kim) is all Korea can (could) talk about—well that and their hate of Ohno. Who is hated almost as much as the nation of Japan (and their figure skaters). We were returning from a kinder end-of-the-year party (with all of the kids in their prom best) when Kim Yu-Na came on the bus’ TV and all of the Korean teachers immediately gave her full attention and silence—which made all of us foreign teachers shut up and watch too. She skated beautifully and the Korean teachers did the Korean equivalent of high fives all around. Then it was the Japanese skater’s turn. Even though she did a stellar job (but not getting as many points) all the Korean teachers could do was berate her and say how she wasn’t as good as Kim Yu-Na. I’ll give them that Kim Yu-Na is a fantastic figure skater but damn are they… let’s say: prideful. On that note, it sucks that the US didn’t win hockey gold!

We had another new year. It seems like Korea can’t get enough of them, so they say we may have 5-6 more in the coming months. Actually, we celebrated Seollal (a pronunciation I really can’t, CAN’T get the hang of). This is virtually the same thing as what we know of as “Chinese New Year” or lunar New Year. This is traditionally a very family oriented holiday and as such my coworkers and I were left on our own to find activities to fill the void that was the long weekend.

Alex, Andrew and I went looking for traditional games and music that we had read about on the internet—cuz you know that’s the best way to find out anything. So we hopped on the subway and like Bugs Bunny, popped our heads out when we thought maybe we were in the right place, only to find, like an aforementioned rabbit, that we were not in our intended destination or rather our event was not in the right place. Eventually we found it, filled with traditional games, which we watched and took pictures of them since some of them seemed downright dangerous-- jumping on sea-saws (in heels) for example.

We took photos wearing some traditional hanbok (Korean clothing). I guess I was dressed as the guard, Alex as the king, and Andrew as the prince. I liked my hat. During this episode we met a Jordanian and an Egyptian and went with them downtown for some ice skating and New Year’s parades and festivities. Long and short of it: I can still ice skate and I got a strike bowling on ice (granny style).

I went to another Korean wedding, this time my Korean teacher's. My friend Gabi sang.

Some other weekend (it’s been so long since I even took down notes to write this thing) I went to a pension with mostly Korean coworkers and had a good time. It was lent to us by one of the student’s parents. We barbecued, drank beer, and had a good time. I think I ultimately like Korean and Chilean barbecues more than American ones—at least the ones I’ve been a part of. They do it more often and they taste better. No offense, cheeseburger.

Random animal parts of I’ve eaten:  Pork intestines, both long and short. Delicious. I’d have to say that I prefer the long intestine to the small but that’s just me.

Other news, my beloved Chile suffered a pretty gruesome quake, not far from where I studied and Taiwan got one too. I was kind of hoping to maybe go there for Buddha’s birthday in May. Any thoughts? As far as Chile goes, I’ve heard from most of my friends and host family down there and they seem to be okay but a lot of their stuff ended up on the floor. We also had a smaller quake and North Korea/China had a larger one. Good luck, US west coast.

I’ll end with a random commonly held Korean belief: ducks can not fly (at least very high). Wassup with that?!?

안녕!

1 Excuse

The author knows he should update the hell out of this blog but he's a lazy son of a gun and you probably already knew that.

8 Legs Dancing on my Tongue

The author has chosen to grace the blogosphere with his humble and subtle presence once more. He is alive and kicking in a way not dissimilar to his seafood supper several nights ago. We can crawl to that subject in a moment or two. Why has the righteous and respected writer taken so long to tap a few nouns, verbs and adjectives your way? Well, he has had the pleasure of working two 6 day weeks in row; and has instead handily directed his energies not at his beautiful blog but rather at not devouring the souls of the children who call themselves his students.

Enough about my eager little tattle-tales who spare no moment to mention that so-and-so has spoken Korean and I try in a professional manner to tell them that teacher couldn’t care any less than he already does about that. A video is under my more recent photos with some of the cuter ones talking about what dreams are. Take that, Mr. Bill Cosby—Korean kids say the darndest things. Actually it was funnier until I got the camera out. Those are some of my favorite kids in the whole school and I think I’ve had to punish only one maybe once in five months of teaching them.

Another video which you should check out is from another trip to the alien world that is the Noryangin fish market—though you don’t need to don an avatar body or 3D glasses to experience it. Just to remind the friends, family and random Google hits out there; Noryangin is an old, utilitarian yet colorful and animated market. If it’s edible and has been discovered in the ocean it can be purchased and eaten here. Fish tanks after fish tanks of mostly live fish of all sizes, octopus escaping out of their tanks or bowls, and vendors aggressively hawking their sea creatures who themselves can be scarier than anything you will see while walking through the rows and rows of swimming, crawling, shelled, spongy, little and large sea monsters for sale.

 I went with one goal in mind: to choose and eat live baby octopus legs. Oh yes and it was done. I went with a friend and picked out several fish (who were clubbed to death readily dispatched) for a stew and raw Korean style sashimi and one very unfortunate (baby) octopus. I’m not entirely sure if it was a baby or just small but either way: it was still very much alive.

So we were led up to what I think was the same restaurant that I ate at previously and anxiously awaited the still-live, squirming plate of octopus legs that would be my appetizer. And sooner than maybe I had hoped, there it was. Moving, pulsating it was very much still “alive,” though just the legs. They cut the legs off (scissors?) and then douse the poor guy in tasty sesame oil. The video should take care of any more need for descriptions but in it I wasn’t all that frightened by it, just feeling how the suction cups were grabbing onto my teeth, lips, and tongue. It was an interesting sensation for sure—I’ve never had a food grab me back. I felt the most Klingon I ever have while gobbling this dish up.  Warning: Chew everything; this dish can kill you by getting stuck in your esophagus. I was not killed.

Afterwards when the plate of raw halibut came it was hard not half-expecting it to start wiggling in my chopsticks which made it slightly less enjoyable than the first time—which was crazy delicious. We finished off the octo-baby-legs by throwing them into the stew and putting them out of their misery. They managed to retain life for about 30-40 minutes after they were put on a plate and introduced to their new home: my mouth.

Anyway, then I spent the next couple of weeks NOT updating this blog and working a lot and some other stuff that involves Iran and Nicaragua that’s totally legal but I just can’t tell you about it right now. Also Korean is still hard but it’s starting to click in some areas. Korean makes me feel so embarrassed about any and all errors I ever made/make in Spanish.

All for now,

대니 (Danny)

I'm 27 Years Old Now

Understandably unsure how our underappreciated and utterly unclear author can attempt to accelerate the accomplishment of another agonizingly overproduced introduction is beyond explanation. Forgive him for maybe this time he has something that will tickle your fancy, though of course not as interesting as anything found on Wikipedia or IMDB. Snow has blanketed this small Korean village known as Seoul and cold, dry temperatures squeeze all of the moisture from the writer’s kimchi-filled body. He has learned to appreciate certain things in life: namely lotion and humidity. Oh humidity, how this poor, wretched soul wishes for your soggy embrace and for you to wash across his hands and face and bring life once more to his destroyed and desiccated pores. The author has also lost many of his fantasies about deserts and tundra as he now assumes that those must be worse—he might even miss the mold. This cold and dirty city air has also not been good to his lungs, causing him to cough and hack as if he were just beaten up by a wookie.

Wookies luckily I didn’t have to face on my New Year’s vacation—though my friend Alex and I forwent shaving and looked an awful lot like those friendly sasquatch-like aliens that my brother, Sean, can do such a good impression of, by the end of it. So after inviting the entire office with an offer of ice fishing festival, I received only two bites, my friend Alex and my Korean coworker Elly who also managed to net her friend Hye Won into the trip. Oh boy do I like puns. So we loaded up on gear, booked a pension next to the festival, and reserved space on the ice to dip our fishing poles into fishing holes.

Elly volunteered to drive her SUV (which made it to the east coast of South Korea from Seoul in one tank of gas—buy Hyundai!) and we squeezed everything and everyone into our Millennium Falcon and once the iPod was hooked up, hit the hyper drive and sent it into light speed.

Pyeongchang was a beautiful place which is located in one of the snowiest areas in South Korea. It’s located on a river and is a major contender for winter Olympics—though from what I know was just passed up on for possibly a city in Russia? The air was clean, the snow was white, and the festival was vibrant and fun. You should go!

While we didn’t catch any trout we did try and try and try. Elderly Korean men who worked the festival would come over and grunt at me until I could grunt back enough for them to be convinced that I understood their initial grunts. Still didn’t help any. Grunting aside, we also did some ice sledding, snow sledding, and ATVs on ice and snow right on the river! That was my favorite part even though in Korea eight year olds were given their own ATVs in some cases and let loose out on the river with them—I know my mom the elementary special ed. teacher had just read this and freaked the hell out. Now even though we were racing 2^nd graders it didn’t deter Alex and I from having fun out on the ice and snow.

We mostly cooked for ourselves in Pyeongchang, check the photos, delicious barbecue and frying pan mixes that were scrumptious. We did however get really close to over dosing on kimchi.

We also made detour to the east coast and a city called Sokcho. We visited a beautiful temple which was just short of Shangri-la beauty but located on a coastal cliff and not in the Himalayas of course. A giant statue of Buddha, amazing architecture, and many places to say your prayers were swirled into this mix of man and nature so expertly done. My photos won’t do it justice.

 In Sokcho we visited the fish market and loaded up raw fish (hwea) and went to a hotel to eat them. We had raw halibut, squid, sea cucumber(?) and several other fish who didn’t happen to give me their names. The next day we packed up and got back to Seoul at about 1 o’clock and I dined on delicious mandoo (dumpling) soup with the women while Alex washed up for a date.

In other news: A few days ago all the women and girls started wearing pants! Apparently Korean women can only handle a few days of freezing weather in nothing but skirts and tights for so long before they need to “man-up” and put on some pants. It got down to -17C which is about -1F for all the haters.

Also according to Korean rules I am now 27 years old (I think) and everyone in Korea just celebrated another year with the new year. So I’ve been 26 since I got here and I was 25 for a total of a month and a half. I’ve grown so much in these few months…

Also I did other stuff but this is what you wanted to know and needed to know.

The end for now.