1 Country Down 2 to Go

The egotistical, egomaniacal author of awesomeness has certainly taken his damn time getting around to the readable writing of this entry and maybe his last while on the peninsula of Korea. He has had a hell of a time here and you his avid reader (or maybe you just google searched something dirty and got this blog) have had the obvious pleasure of living vicariously through him.

 Secrets, untold stories, and many opinions have probably been kept from you and will only be unkept if you buy the thirsty author a liquid libation or two upon his triumphant return. Or does he really have any? Maybe he just wants a free beer or two (a beer that isn’t the color yellow).

Yes, I am returning to the picturesque Puget Sound, even though this place has been mighty kind to me, and who knows, I may come back—and not just for the kimchi. The terrific teacher also learned things. Simple things, such as rice is awesome, or beer shouldn’t be yellow and I am capable of eating a creature that’s still alive (which I did again the other day).  Other things like a baseball game can be called even before the first pitch has been thrown or just about any animal or vegetable is actually quite consumable. 

One thing that I never got into was many of the more trying experiences of being an immigrant (however temporary) to this country and now I’d like to think that I understand the experiences of my friends back home just a little more. It’s not an easy thing living in a country that isn’t your own and which you have so little in common at first. I’ve seen firsthand here that it’s not for everyone.

Anywhom, I am leaving Monday for Bangkok via a layover in Kuala Lumpur where I will meet up with the legendary Diana Sundermeyer of the WWU Rec Center Pool. Me and Sundermunder will spend a few hours in the Bangkok airport wearing shirts that are not the color red because one, we’re no longer lifeguards and two, well, there’s that minor “Red Shirt” thing in Thailand. Then to Chiang Mai in the north, then Phuket in the southeast and that’s where I part ways with Sunderwunder who flies back to the US to return to her normal life of huffing chlorine fumes. Then I have another week by myself in Thailand to basically stay out of trouble and apply and REapply sunscreen to my (after Jeju) humbled skin.  I plan on eating grotesque amounts of phad thai, phad see ew, and host of different curries. It’s gonna be yummy.

Once I find my way back to Bangkok I fly to Manila only to then jump to the city of Cebu on the island of the same name. There I will drink San Miguels for $1 a piece and try my hand at couch surfing for the first time-- just trying to trust the world a little more. After a week there I will head to the island of story: Boracay.  Once there, there will be more $1 San Miguels complimented by chicken adobo, lumpia, and mangoes. Oh the mangoes! This man goes for mangoes! Haha.

Then I will rescue some razor blade wielding roosters from their gladiatorial lives and be on my way out of the shark infested waters of the Philippine archipelago. From Manila I will cross the gynormous Pacific and arrive in Maui to visit a high school friend, one Mr. Ken Sandin. Yes, that’s the only reason. Really, it’s a good enough reason, right? Okay, so I’m looking forward to Hawaii too.

After a week there I will find myself back amongst the tall trees and well-watered mountains of my home town. Let’s just hope all of this works out the way I say it’s going to.

Keep reading, I’ll try and update from the road.

대니 (Danny)

P.S. I'm going to miss my students so much. Aren't they adorable?

2 Sun Byrnes

Hey look! It’s the self-styled Marco Polo’s own mother.  She hopped on a jet plane and made her way to the magical Orient to see what was what and all she got was several mouthfuls of kimchi. Yes, the author’s momma thought it would be worth it to fly for a full day and visit her eldest son here in the war-paused peninsula of Korea. You of course, haven’t done this. So this makes her better than you in all quantitative and qualitative ways possible. She found not only fermented vegetables but sun burns, subways, and stone statues to boot.

So as of today, my mom is safely back in the US and at home. First, thank you mommy for bringing back my winter clothes and things I didn’t need. I’ll pay for that extra-bag fee. Anyway, I hope you had a good trip, especially for your first outside of North America.

I got to flex my skills as tour guide again (first time with my friend Carla who was in town). It’s fun showing someone around Seoul after you’ve been here as long as I have—even if you just make up information a most of the time. I also got to use a bit of my Korean on during her time here and I think I may have almost sounded fluent (to the untrained ear of course)!

So other than taking my mom to the usual haunts and tourist traps around Seoul I also flew her to the mythical island of Jeju-do which Koreans usually only speak of in hushed tones hoping that they can go there soon. It’s Korea’s Hawaii as they tell it and while I haven’t been to actual Hawaii, yet, I don’t think they are too far from the mark. And boy do they have everything there: beaches, oranges, and a sizeable number of statues that are little people but pretty much just look like penises. And furthermore, if you touch the nose of one of these penis-people statues you’re supposed to be in line for a boy child. Sure beats the Chilean troll of unwed mothers: Trauco. He’s pretty neat actually. Ironically, he’s also from an island. What’s up with islanders and weird myths?

On Jeju we took a taxi tour of the island and stopped at two craters, a pretty coastal area, a coastal waterfall, and a strange lived in Korean folk village. At the aforementioned stone hut community we had some not so tasty snacks from some nice old ladies and then their pigs got me all muddy because my mom didn’t like her snack and fed it to the black pigs. Fun fact: black pigs are supposed to be more delicious. Sad fact: black pigs are more expensive to eat.

Anyway, as the title states I did get myself a nice sun burn since I never get to go outside anymore; I just stay indoors, breathing processed air and then breathing it out only to yell and 6 year olds. It’s mostly okay now but let’s say there was a moment where I almost tore the skin off my back.

However it was totally worth it to play in the waves and lay about on a beach. Hotel was a 2 minute walk from the beach with ocean views—livin’ the life of Riley. Hooray for my one vacation of the year! Back to work this week, boo.

Starcraft II. Like a good denizen of this half of the peninsula, I’m playing it. It’s gorgeous, great and glorious. Yeah, I’m sometimes a computer game nerd.

Anyway, that’s all the new fit to print. Eat your kimchi.